Common Myths and Stereotypes:
Social Behavior Misconceptions
MYTH: Lesbians
and gay men all look, dress, and act alike.
FACT: Most lesbians and gay men
are indistinguishable from non-gays in our society. This is why the gay
and lesbian communities are often described as an “invisible minority”
and why so many gay men and lesbians can successfully remain “in the
closet” all of their lives – without even their closest family members
and friends knowing about their true sexual orientation. The fact that
most gay men and lesbians do not “look gay” can be demonstrated by the
surprised reaction most people have when they learn that lesbians and
gay men make up at least 10% of the world’s population.
MYTH: Gay men act like women and lesbians act like
men.
FACT: This is a common stereotype
that is closely related to “all gays look/act alike.” The fact that
some gay men may act, appear, or actually be effeminate often makes
them visible and recognizable as being gay by the average non-gay
person. The obvious fallacy with this “recognition” is that not all
effeminate men are gay, and the actual number of gay men who happen to
be effeminate is a very small part of the overall gay communities. The
same dynamics apply to masculine women who are automatically
“recognized” as being lesbians.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men are all “cross dressers.”
FACT: This common stereotype
is also based on the “all gays look/alike” myth, as well as on the “gay
men act like women and lesbians act like men” myth. This
stereotype confuses transvestism (deriving sexual pleasure from
dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex) with homosexuality.
Studies have shown that 75% of transvestites are heterosexual men who
enjoy dressing up in their wife’s or girlfriend’s
clothes. This myth is often reinforced by the media
when they seek out the most “sensational” images on which to focus in
doing a story about gay men or lesbians. There are also those people
who identify as transexual (their external gender does not match their
internal gender). Most transexuals are heterosexual; they wish to
change their external gender and involve themselves with opposite
sex partners. Unfortunately, the general public often believes
homosexuals, transvestites, and transsexuals are all the same.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men are only found in big
cities.
FACT: Lesbians and gay men are
members of society at large and are found in all geographic
locations – from the biggest cities to the smallest towns and
rural villages.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men don’t have conventional
occupations, hobbies, or interests. They are only interested in going
to gay bars and wild parties and in looking for sexual partners.
FACT: This myth is a good example of the danger of
typing people with sexual labels. Because people associate the term
homosexuality only with sexual activity (and not with the feelings or
emotional attachment), all other aspects of a person’s life, character,
interests and personality becomes secondary. Thus, a person who is
thought to be homosexual is often seen only as a sexual being. In
actuality, lesbians and gay men have the same variety of occupational,
recreational, social, and political interests as non-gay people.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men don’t like non-gay people
or members of the opposite sex.
FACT: This myth is associated with
the “lesbians and gay men are interested in having sex” myth. The
belief behind it is that gay men and lesbians would only want to be
friends with people with whom they could have sex ... in other words,
other gay men and lesbians. In fact, gay men and lesbians – like other
people – have varied and diverse personalities, likes and dislikes
which play an important part in determing what types of people they
will choose as friends. Factors which often play a significant role in
determining gay men’s and lesbians’ exposure to potential friends
include: their occupations, hobbies, recreational activities, political
affiliations, schools attended, and so on. Most gay men and lesbians
choose their friends based on a combination of all these factors. What
someone does in the privacy of his or her own bedroom is of minor
importance in establishing friendships.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men like to “flaunt” their
sexuality in public
FACT: What many people term
“flaunting” with regard to lesbians and gay men showing affection in
public is simply seen as “cute” when non-gay couples do the same thing.
The basic difference is that we are so accustomed to seeing men and
women holding hands, hugging, or giving affectionate little kisses in
public that it almost becomes invisible to us. If we do notice, the
usual reaction is “what a cute couple” or “it must be spring; love is
in the air.” But when we see two people of the same sex do the same
things, we often have a negative or uncomfortable reaction. This
happens because we are not accustomed to seeing it, and it is
quite common for us to reject (at least at first glance) things that
“stand out” as different or alien to us.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men are all liberals and
radicals
FACT: Again, lesbians and gay men
are as diverse as society in general. There are gay and lesbian
Republicans, police officers, Mormons, lawyers, coporate executives,
and so on. Of course, there are also those with less “conservative”
occupations and affiliations.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men want “special rights.”
FACT: This seems to be the new
buzzword from the religious right. It is is often coupled with the
concept that gay men and lesbians are not a legitimate minority since
sexual orientation is a “choice.” Remember that religious preference is
also a “choice,” yet it is given a great deal of protection from
discrimination. Lesbians and gay men are only trying to get equal
protection under the law.
next subject: Common
Myths and Stereotypes: Family Misconceptions
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