Common Myths and Stereotypes: Social Behavior Misconceptions

MYTH:     Lesbians and gay men all look, dress, and act alike.

FACT:         Most lesbians and gay men are indistinguishable from non-gays in our society. This is why the gay and lesbian communities are often described as an “invisible minority” and why so many gay men and lesbians can successfully remain “in the closet” all of their lives – without even their closest family members and friends knowing about their true sexual orientation. The fact that most gay men and lesbians do not “look gay” can be demonstrated by the surprised reaction most people have when they learn that lesbians and gay men make up at least 10% of the world’s population.

MYTH:    Gay men act like women and lesbians act like men.

FACT:         This is a common stereotype that is closely related to “all gays look/act alike.” The fact that some gay men may act, appear, or actually be effeminate often makes them visible and recognizable as being gay by the average non-gay person. The obvious fallacy with this “recognition” is that not all effeminate men are gay, and the actual number of gay men who happen to be effeminate is a very small part of the overall gay communities. The same dynamics apply to masculine women who are automatically “recognized” as being lesbians.

MYTH:    Lesbians and gay men are all “cross dressers.”

FACT:        This common  stereotype is also based on the “all gays look/alike” myth, as well as on the “gay men act like women and lesbians act like men” myth. This  stereotype confuses transvestism (deriving sexual pleasure from dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex) with homosexuality. Studies have shown that 75% of transvestites are heterosexual men who enjoy dressing up in their wife’s or girlfriend’s  clothes.    This myth is often reinforced by the media when they seek out the most “sensational” images on which to focus in doing a story about gay men or lesbians. There are also those people who identify as transexual (their external gender does not match their internal gender). Most transexuals are heterosexual; they wish to change their external gender  and involve themselves with opposite sex partners. Unfortunately, the general public often believes homosexuals, transvestites, and transsexuals are all the same.

MYTH:    Lesbians and gay men are only found in big cities.

FACT:        Lesbians and gay men are members of society at large and are found in all geographic locations  – from the biggest cities to the smallest towns and rural villages.

MYTH:    Lesbians and gay men don’t have conventional occupations, hobbies, or interests. They are only interested in going to gay bars and wild parties and in looking for sexual partners.

FACT:    This myth is a good example of the danger of typing people with sexual labels. Because people associate the term homosexuality only with sexual activity (and not with the feelings or emotional attachment), all other aspects of a person’s life, character, interests and personality becomes secondary. Thus, a person who is thought to be homosexual is often seen only as a sexual being. In  actuality, lesbians and gay men have the same variety of occupational, recreational, social, and political interests as non-gay people.

MYTH:    Lesbians and gay men don’t like non-gay people or members of the opposite sex.

FACT:        This myth is associated with the “lesbians and gay men are interested in having sex” myth. The belief behind it is that gay men and lesbians would only want to be friends with people with whom they could have sex ... in other words, other gay men and lesbians. In fact, gay men and lesbians – like other people – have varied and diverse personalities, likes and dislikes which play an important part in determing what types of people they will choose as friends. Factors which often play a significant role in determining gay men’s and lesbians’ exposure to potential friends include: their occupations, hobbies, recreational activities, political affiliations, schools attended, and so on. Most gay men and lesbians choose their friends based on a combination of all these factors. What someone does in the privacy of his or her own bedroom is of minor importance in establishing friendships.

MYTH:    Lesbians and gay men like to “flaunt” their sexuality in public

FACT:        What many people term “flaunting” with regard to lesbians and gay men showing affection in public is simply seen as “cute” when non-gay couples do the same thing. The basic difference is that we are so accustomed to seeing men and women holding hands, hugging, or giving affectionate little kisses in public that it almost becomes invisible to us. If we do notice, the usual reaction is “what a cute couple” or “it must be spring; love is in the air.” But when we see two people of the same sex do the same things, we often have a negative or uncomfortable reaction. This happens because we are not accustomed to seeing it, and it  is quite common for us to reject (at least at first glance) things that “stand out” as different or alien to us.

MYTH:    Lesbians and gay men are all liberals and radicals

FACT:        Again, lesbians and gay men are as diverse as society in general. There are gay and lesbian Republicans, police officers, Mormons, lawyers, coporate executives, and so on. Of course, there are also those with less “conservative” occupations and affiliations.

MYTH:    Lesbians and gay men want “special rights.”

FACT:        This seems to be the new buzzword from the religious right. It is is often coupled with the concept that gay men and lesbians are not a legitimate minority since sexual orientation is a “choice.” Remember that religious preference is also a “choice,” yet it is given a great deal of protection from discrimination. Lesbians and gay men are only trying to get equal protection under the law.

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