Common Myths and
Stereotypes: Family Misconceptions
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men are not family oriented
FACT: Lesbians and gay men are
indeed members of families. They are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters,
brothers, sisters , aunts, uncles, and cousins. Many
gay men and lesbians have extended families as well as the families or
relatives of their spouses ... also known as lovers or domestic
partners. They have the same range of needs and desires for family ties
as non-gays do.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men do not want to settle
down with just one mate.
FACT: Here is another myth related
to the “lesbians and gay men are only looking for sex”stereotype. Many
gay men and lesbians have the same desires and needs as non-gays to
establish lasting, monogamous, one-on-one relationships with someone.
Many gay men and lesbians find such partners. As with non-gay
relationships, sometimes they last a lifetime and sometimes they end in
separations. Possibly the only real difference between a gay or lesbian
“love” relationship and that of a non-gay couple is in the area of
legalized marriage. There is essentially no difference in the
affectional ties, legitimacy, emotional ups and downs, fears,
anxieties, commitments or personal rewards.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men can’t and don’t want to
have children.
FACT: Many lesbians and gay men
have the same drives to be parents as many non-gays do. This fact is
supported by the many support groups that exist for gay fathers and
lesbian mothers. Some lesbians and gay men enter into heterosexual
marriages in order to have and raise children. Others choose to adopt
or to become foster parents. In addition, some lesbians use artificial
insemination as a means for having children. Recent studies show that
gay men and lesbians are no more or less suited or qualified to be
parents than non-gays. When people learn that many lesbians and gay men
are parents, they often assume that the children will become
homosexual. This assumption is not supported by scientific findings. On
the contrary, a study in the June 1978 American Journal of Psychology
reported that 36 out of 37 children raised by a sampling of homosexual
parents were found to be heterosexual.
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men can’t “really” love their
mates.
FACT: Gay men and lesbians are
just as capable of falling in love and establishing rewarding and
fulfilling relationships as are non-gays
MYTH: Lesbians and gay men are all atheists or
anti-religious
FACT: Lesbians and gay men are no
less religious than non-gays. Recent studies show that nearly every
major religious sect has a gay/lesbian following. This fact can be
supported by looking at the number of gay and lesbian churches and
religious organizations. (see list)
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